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It's empty inside me, empty as the silent streets. Everyone is hiding from the sun. For a Monday, it is mockingly sunny. My thoughts keep drifting from one thing to the next, wishing I could focus on just one solid thought but every time something comes up, I'm too scared to delve so I keep running. Exactly one week now. Exactly one week since I learnt how it really feels to lose someone precious. Nothing changes and everything goes on. You have to, too. Somehow.I'm vaguely conscious of your presence. It does not fill my head like it's supposed to. The fire's been reduced to a spark that needs to be fanned. Even when I look up into your dark eyes, it's a struggle to recognise the passion, compassion and primal lust in them. I miss your eyes. I miss your gaze. It gives me my worth, and I need to feel worthy today more than ever.Shutting my eyes, I shift slightly in my bonds. The cloth that binds my wrists to the old metal bed-frame does not hurt. It does not even restrict my movements. Nothing is worse than seeing all that lovey-dovey bullshit couples do when you’re alone on Valentine’s Day without a date. Fuck all those happy couples! How dare they find love and happiness while the rest of us had to wallow in our own hopeless singlehood! So, we told Sean and Kura that they weren’t invited to the party, and they’d have to make themselves scarce. ‘You might want to rent a hotel or something, because who knows who I’ll be bringing back to the room!’ I sarcastically sniped at Sean and Kura. To my surprise, they said they already decided to go away from the 12th through the morning of the 15th. I’d have the room to myself for 4 days! Rock on! We had just under 2 weeks to plan, and boy did we plan. Our friends Mohinder and Jake had the room we always partied in. They were going to go all out for this one. I passed the suggestion that we should have one of those ‘Anything-but-clothes’ parties. The group was receptive, and that suggestion went into the maybe pile. Someone.
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